The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation
- DOG WHO SAVED CHRISTMAS VACATION, THE (DVD MOVIE)
List Price: $ 14.98 Price: $ 3.43
Preacher: Heard you played golf instead of coming to church this a.m. Jim: No sir, & I have the fish to prove it!
Preacher: Heard you played golf instead of coming to church this a.m. Jim: No sir, & I have the fish to prove it!
New Way to Launch

This was this guy’s first boat and he was taking it to the lake, but he wasn’t quite sure of the correct procedure for launching a boat off a ramp. However, he figured it couldn’t be that difficult to do, so he stopped by his Union office for advice, and they told him, “Don’t let the trailer get too deep in the water when you’re launching your boat.”
Well later on, he couldn’t understand what they meant by that, as he could barely get his trailer in the water!
Here’s a picture worth a thousand words. Your gonna love this guy! They walk among us, get married, have children and vote!!
Speeding Ticket
I got stopped for speeding this morning.
I thought I could talk my way out of it until the officer looked at my dog in the back seat:
I got stopped for speeding this morning.
I thought I could talk my way out of it until the officer looked at my dog in the back seat:

My Dog in the Back Seat

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore——-under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done [...]
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore——-under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt.”
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly—–wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go bra-less. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these.”
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